18 September 2009

CONTRA III: THE ALIEN WARS

Contra III was the first time videogames really paid attention to the idea of riding missiles, and it’s remembered as one of the greatest games of the 16-bit era because of it. After riding down the fourth stage’s alien-infested stretch of desert highway on your hovercycle, a friendly looking chopper swoops down and invites you to climb on with a blinking arrow.

CONTRA III: THE ALIEN WARS,Features for A brief history of missile rides | Features for All Platforms,How we learned to stop worrying and love gaming's most impossibly extreme sport

Then, once you’ve taken to the skies and fought off some lame jackass with a jetpack, the missile you were hanging from suddenly detaches and blasts ahead.


CONTRA III: THE ALIEN WARS,Features for A brief history of missile rides | Features for All Platforms,How we learned to stop worrying and love gaming's most impossibly extreme sport 
 
Soon, your missile is joined by three others…

CONTRA III: THE ALIEN WARS,Features for A brief history of missile rides | Features for All Platforms,How we learned to stop worrying and love gaming's most impossibly extreme sport

.. which you’ll be forced to quickly jump to as the rocket you were riding detonates against the ass-end of an alien airship.


CONTRA III: THE ALIEN WARS,Features for A brief history of missile rides | Features for All Platforms,How we learned to stop worrying and love gaming's most impossibly extreme sport 
 
What follows is easily the single most kickass battle ever to take place on the Super NES,  as heroes Jimbo and Sully leap frantically between disintegrating missiles while lobbing absurd amounts of firepower at the giant, red sensor the aliens were so kind as to put on the back of their ship.

CONTRA III: THE ALIEN WARS,Features for A brief history of missile rides | Features for All Platforms,How we learned to stop worrying and love gaming's most impossibly extreme sport

Then, when it’s all over and the airship detonates in a brilliant flash of nuclear indignance, you find yourself safely back on the chopper that brought you into the air. And on an unfired missile, no less.


CONTRA III: THE ALIEN WARS,Features for A brief history of missile rides | Features for All Platforms,How we learned to stop worrying and love gaming's most impossibly extreme sport 
 
This leads us to believe that the “battle” was really all just a dream, and that Jimbo accidentally tore the helicopter a new asshole while dangling, asleep, from the missile.

Why not? It’s not much more ridiculous than anything else that happens in Contra III.

 



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